The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
