I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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