We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
