New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
