I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
