i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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