This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
