You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
