i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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