how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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