I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
