Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
