so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My ass is underappreciated
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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