the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
