the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
