I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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