It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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