Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
