i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize