Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
