I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
