Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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