One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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