I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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