i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
