This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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