Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
