I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
