I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
