So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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