dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
