Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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