Nicole vs. Life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
