She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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