This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
