smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
