What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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