he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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