Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
