Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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