His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
