Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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