you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
