no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
