New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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