We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
