i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we made out on top of his cat.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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