i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
