How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
