How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
